Some people say time heals all… they also say a moment and the things said last for a forever…. That a single second in someone’s presence can influence a lifetime... which gives you more comfort?.. The fact a wound will heal with time… or that a wound simply scabs and scars over till someone comes along and picks at it… that its always there just under the surface… under the slightly pink scar tissue… discolored… for all to see, like a sign of caution… stating warning... contents under pressure.
So you double your defense… draw your line in the sand… no one gets any closer than… this… and you explain your buffer zone to yourself… holding out you hands in a vain display of this new rule… the distance you will keep form others… and as you look at your hands they seem further away then they should be… just how will you feel the love and warmth you desire… with such a vast expanse at your finger tips…
This is your dilemma… this is your stability …your structure at risk… in the heart of all people their first instinct is to build a wall… creating structure, a defining moment in which from they can derive control… giving them power, some sentiment of a defining purpose… and a small sense of victory… even if the underlying effect is a hindrance to their growth.
Tell it like it is… throwing down your rulebooks in disgust and shame… buy a journal, paint a picture... write a song….
Illustrate your world… stop looking for answers in the horoscopes, for some one to give you a defining moment… a sense of who you are… for when its cold and quiet, and the light seem to dim to see the world… and you are left with nothing to fill your mind but your own thoughts… this is your moment… your cause… for if you cannot be alone with yourself you can never coexist with another… you must learn to get it out there in some way… in any way that allows you to step back and view it with a non jaded point of view…
Illustrate your mind… get yourself out there… with any means possible… do not relegate yourself to the mindless masses… it is your duty to seek a more meaningful place in this contrived world… we mustn’t be content to exist purely for the sake of just… getting along… anything less than a impassioned quest for the quaint moments… the ones that really count… The boundless joy derived from a simple glance from your love… the painfully vivid encounters with happiness that fall from grace… the chance meetings that leave you forever changed… the nights spent in the company of friends where the topics don’t matter and the past is rehashed a thousand different ways…but the laughs remain the same… the trials and tribulations of this day and the next that make you question you very existence… the questions themselves begging to be answered… and the days that pass in a instant... and the moments that forever remain entrenched in your psyche. Anything less than an impassioned quest for all of these things… is a life not lived… but a life squandered… a prolonged journey filled with intermittent bursts of the life you could have attained.
All of these things remain constant and quintessential components of any given life. You cannot go though life like a candy dish picking out all of the blue M&M’s because you find them less appealing… you can only try to live a different brand of life… in hope that your candy dish will contain a little more of what you like.
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