I struggle... I lift my head and say ok this is it... find some words, some catchy metaphors.
Why doesn't it make sense... why can't I explain this? It's funny sometimes you have a day so unlike the rest that it leaves you unprepared... you feel so unable to deal with you normal life. You see everything in blasts of color and lines of prose one day. Till you real life returns... you stand staring out a window much like one you remember in that kitchen, but it seems less quaint less peaceful, and you remember that view on the mountain and how anything was possible and you felt complete.
Now I sit at my computer, and I struggle… struggle to find a way to describe a day so simple yet filled with so much meaning. It seems so distant now, so far away and perfect but not quite… but that was the beauty... it was real life only better, it wasn’t a dream, there wasn’t the promise of things to come or the regrets of things done… just the moment.
So I struggle, just how far away was this world, this place of endless possibilities and zero regret. Is it the next town, the next state, or is not reachable on foot or by plane or any means of transportation… maybe it was just your refection you were seeing, that all your life had not been wasted that you we here… you were useful… you were needed.
So I struggle…
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